I guess I should be angry.
Write lines that make
people say
I have balls,
or the men of this world
should be afraid
of my hate.
But the snowfall
like sugar
this morning, sweetened
most of the pain
and the girl I watched
suffer through class
dissolved what little
hadn’t melted
away
with the snowflakes.
I am a whore who needs your validation.
Send me tampax, or a can of aqua net.
I know, I know, if i don’t be careful this is going to become some sort of Elliott Smith fan blog or something. Just allow me my phase, okay? Gawd.
Haven’t laughed this hard in a long time
I better stop now before I start crying
Go off to sleep in the sunshine
I don’t want to see the day when it’s dying
She’s a sight to see (sight to see)
She’s good to me (good to me)
But I’m already somebody’s baby
She’s a pretty thing
And she knows everything
But I’m already somebody’s baby
You don’t deserve to be lonely
But those drugs you’ve got won’t make you feel better
Pretty soon you’ll find it’s the only
Little part of your life you’re keeping together
I’m nice to you
I could make it through
But you’re already somebody’s baby
I could make you smile
If you stayed a while
But how long will you stay with me, baby?
Because your candle burns too bright
Well I almost forgot it was twilight
Even if I think that you are right
Well I’m tired of being down, I got no fight
You’re wonderful
And it’s beautiful
But I’m already somebody’s baby
And if I went with you
I’d disappoint you too
Well I’m already somebody’s baby
Already somebody’s baby
Every single
airplane
flies
to where
you live
and they’re all
leaving
without me.
I have to recite this poem tonight for my intermediate poetry class. I’m nervous becasue I don’t really enjoy public speaking, but I really love this poem. I’m going to type it in here from my head to see if I have it memorized. I’ll let you know how it went after I’m done typing it.
Not from this anger, anticlimax after
refusal struck her loin and the lame flower
bent like a beast to lap the singular floods
in a land strapped by hunger,
shall she receive a bellyful of weeds
and bear those tendril hands I touch across
the agonized, two seas.
Behind my head a square of sky sags over
the circular smile tossed from lover to lover
and the gold ball spins out of the skies.
Not from this anger after
refusal struck like a bell under water
shall her smile breed that mouth, behind the mirror,
that burns along my eyes.
Okay, after typing that out I think it’s gone pretty well. Maybe a word here or there. One thing I cannot understand is why I keep forgetting the first part, ‘anticlimax after refusal struck her loin… I think I’m ready to do this though. Ugh.
Born from this sorrow, fury climbs her spine
and the sterile twigs of barren tree branches scrape
the winter windows of her home abundant
with noise where the children number
four, even so she is alone changing
teaspoons of sand into stars.
In her eyes the sun shines stubborn casting
shadows of an absent smile, the bronchitis
cough that persists, pulls at her skirts as she works
and works. Born from this sorrow
a compression explosion, broken glass
and breakfast is served.
the Royal Art Lodge and I only wish I had something they were interested in trading for.
gotta love nataliedee
But all you say is you don’t want anyone around
Come not right now
There ain’t nothing to dream
You don’t want to think about it
I’m sorry you seem so stumped
And I’m sorry you think you have to hold your tongue
When your so pretty and smart
I’m seeing you caving in
Becoming afraid of all these men
That you’ve given your heart
He could fix it all if he wanted to,
could reverse the earth, like Superman,
change the words, absorb
the tears. He could become
the tears. He could make it so
tears never existed.
I try to turn a million wrong
words
of pain and anger
into the
right
words
but can only repeat
I love you
I love you
I love you
and speaking them
has the same effect
as throwing punches
in a dream.
