i am one chapter
in a writer’s life
and where i end
another begins.
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and tomorrow
again
and the next day
again
and
again
and
again
and again
and
again
and again
and again and again
and again
and again
andagain
until i die.
…don’t send me roses on yer behalf…
Lately I’ve spent a lot of time complaining that I cannot write. I cannot write anything. I’m blocked. But I sit down at my computer, where I used to write, where I used to tend to LiteraryMary and what am I doing? I’m reading through people’s facebook posts. Well, so and so fed their dog today. Or someone’s twitter posts. Jeez it’s hot out today! Or if I’m not doing that, I’m playing Mafia Wars on facebook. Why? It’s not even fun. So and so wants to hit me with a water baloon. Click click click do you want to allow them to pull information click click click etc. etc. wow has an hour really gone by? I’d better do the dishes.
I’ve never had a myspace account. I always felt that it was somehow gross. Somehow I got turned on to facebook, though, and felt it was the lesser of two evils. Well, neither of them are really evil. They are just mindless, vapid, bullshit. Potato chips for my brain, when I should be using what little time I have to write something, to lay out a project, to write an actual letter to someone who actually cares about me. It’s so much static for a mind that thrives on minimalism.
So tonight I said goodbye to my facebook account and my twitter acount. And I’m happy about that. And now I’ve written more words on here then I have in the past six months.
I mean, jeez. If I’m really going to waste some time doing nothing at all? Well, it’s important that we don’t forget porn.
you smell like sand
i think
as i lay my cheek
on your arm.
we grow farther apart
the more
we know
so that i miss you most
when i’m with you.
As my friend Jocelyne would say, ‘Catch hot piss.’
Some people say
everyone
in Los Angeles
is beautiful.
But the passengers
on the shuttle bus
to terminal three
are all just
passing through.
…so I am reading The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook for some therapy I’m doing. Anyway, I thought I would make a post of it here, because if I put it somewhere on line I’m more likely to look at it than if I keep it in a word file.
Maybe if you have trouble with being assertive like me, this will help you too:
Personal Bill of Rights
1. I have the right to ask for what I want.
2. I have the right to say no to requests or demands I can’t meet.
3. I have the right to express all of my feelings, positive or negative.
4. I have the right to change my mind.
5. I have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.
6. I have the right to follow my own values and standards.
7. I have the right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe, or it violates my values.
8. I have the right to determine my own priorities.
9. I have the right not to be responsible for others’ behavior, actions, feelings, or problems.
10. I have the right to expect honesty from others.
11. I have the right to be angry at someone I love.
12. I have the right to be uniquely myself.
13. I have the right to feel scared and say “I’m afraid.”
14. I have the right to say “I don’t know.”
15. I have the right not to give excuses or reasons for my behavior.
16. I have the right to make decisions based on my feelings.
17. I have the right to my own needs for personal space and time.
18. I have the right to be playful and frivolous.
19. I have the right to be healthier than those around me.
20. I have the right to be in a nonabusive environment.
21. I have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people.
22. I have the right to change and grow.
23. I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others.
24. I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.
25. I have the right to be happy.
i have really eclectic music tastes. i love this song.
